Jon’s plane was three hours late. It arrived to a virtually deserted Palm Springs International Airport. As I caught my first look at him approaching the security doors from the arrivals and departures gates into the main lobby a lightening flash passed through me.
At first an intensely icy sense of panic, which soon gave way to a familiar sensation of warmth and comfort as soon as the doors opened. He caught sight of me and smiled that same broad smile I’d seen so many times before on my iMac.
We did not kiss. While two men lip-locked in a loving embrace would hardly be considered unusual just about anywhere in Palm Springs, I realized we’d never discussed how comfortable he may or may not be with public displays of affection. We simply hugged.
Griselda melted, her knees buckled, and Brain and I had to immediately rush to keep her from hitting the floor.
“Come on sweetheart,” Brain said reassuringly as he pushed a rolling chair underneath her. “Buck up, the man just got here and there’s much to get done before this long weekend comes to an end.”
Between finishing classes, driving to the Toronto airport, a multistop series of flights, and the delay, Jon had just spent nearly 20 hours traveling. On top of that he’d now been awake over 24 hours. He was so tired he hadn’t even noticed I was wearing a t-shirt with the picture of him flexing above an image of a moose.
Jon marveled at the 39ºC/102ºF temperature even though it was nearly two in the morning.
We exited the lobby and headed to my car, which was just a few yards away from the front doors of the terminal. Jon marveled at the 39ºC/102ºF temperature even though it was nearly two in the morning. I barely noticed as I nervously chattered away incessantly every step of the walk and during the five minute drive from the airport to my apartment.
I was still carrying on like an over caffeinated magpie when we got to my apartment. As we entered, I told him to just drop his bags and kick off his shoes then turned to close the door behind him.
As I stepped back into the room past him I put my arm around his shoulders, he reached behind me, we embraced and…
“Quick,” I called out to Brain, “get another chair I’m going down.”
Despite his long day traveling, we settled down on the sofa with a couple Moose Drools and started talking. It doesn’t seem like we talked about anything in particular or of all that great importance, we just talked to and with each other. We talked and talked and cuddled and cuddled.
Sometime around three am we headed for the bedroom where I finally pointed to the t-shirt I’d been wearing. He laughed and then laughed some more when he saw the poster size picture of himself, crossed eyes and all, staring down from the bedroom wall just above what was to be his side of the bed.
For obvious reasons the next day didn’t begin until late morning.
Once in bed the cuddling and spooning continued. It must have been a hilarious sight with me in the big spoon position holding on to this bear of a man. I didn’t care. I had never been happier or more content in my life as he fell asleep in my arms.
For obvious reasons the next day didn’t begin until late morning. After breakfast and cleaning up, there wasn’t much in the way of sightseeing we could do accept take a driving tour of the immediate area and then head out to Desert Hills outlet mall to replace the cargo shorts he’d managed to tear during the previous day’s travels.
As we headed back to the apartment I asked Jonny if he’d like to go to the Fur Friday bear beer bust at Hunters. Half of me hoped he’d say yes and half secretly wished he say something about being too tired.
“Sure,” he replied. “You’ve talked so much about it I’d like to check it out and maybe we’ll run into Matt or Shawn or Steve and Jack.”
Running into any of these men would be a nice treat for both of us. They were all old friends he’d met while socializing at various bear events and online. I’d met them all since moving to Palm Springs.
No, what worried me was walking into a crowded gay bar with one of the most attractive and probably best known men on the Internet. I had such an experience during one of my earlier relationships. Whenever Michael, a very attractive avid fitness buff and my first San Francisco boyfriend, and I would go out to events or just meet friends for drinks, I tended to become invisible. Total strangers would come up to us and begin talking to Michael as if I wasn’t anywhere to be seen, often inserting themselves between us.
I’d mentioned this to Jonny during one of our previous video chats.
“I can just see it now,” I said, trying to be as nonchalant as I could be during our chat, “you and I walk into Hunters and suddenly I’ll become the Invisible Gay Bear. No one will see me.”
“Yes they will,” he said staring directly at me in a soft reassuring voice, “I’ll see you.”
Those words echoed in my ears as we entered Hunters that Friday evening.
Shortly after ordering drinks I caught sight of my friends Bert and Phil. In those days, they split their time between Bert’s home in Palm Springs and Phil’s home in San Diego. Because Phil has to work weekends several times a month, Bert is occasionally alone here in town and therefore he became the closest thing I have to a single friend. Phil, on the other hand, the victim of a very unpleasant online dating experience himself, was probably Brain’s greatest ally in urging caution before becoming more seriously involved emotionally.
After a few minutes chatting with Bert and Phil and knowing that Jonny would like to see if any of his friends were in either of Hunters’ two large rooms, I asked if he’d like to take a tour of the bar. He said yes and we excused ourselves from the conversation for a few minutes of crowd surfing.
Sure enough we hadn’t gone ten feet before a complete stranger came up to us and started speaking directly to Jonny who, with his right arm around my shoulders, almost immediately wheeled me up so close to him as to virtually insert me between himself and the stranger, who awkwardly began including me in his observation of how Jon, “ah you two, are the two handsomest men in the bar.”
“Fascinating,” I could hear Brain saying even as he kept a firm grip about Griselda.
It continued that way for nearly half an hour as we made our way around the dance bar adjacent to the main room. I’d see friends of mine, all couples, we’d stop, I’d introduce Jonny, a pleasant conversation would ensue, and then suddenly like flies to honey a series of men, most of whom had never spoken to me before, began stopping by fishing for an introduction.
As we moved about the room, Jonny never left my side. It didn’t matter if I ended up on his right or his left, as soon as we stopped to talk to anyone a large powerful arm swept me up like a child next to him, and throughout it all he repeatedly turned and faced me, smiling and gazing at me with those big, sparkling, brown, eyes.
Griselda let out a huge sigh and said, “I told you he was just like us. Just look into those eyes.”
“Of course he stays with us,” Brain, now very annoyed with Griselda’s fawning said. “It’s the appropriate and polite thing to do. After all, he is Canadian! They’re all so bloody fucking polite; why would you expect him to be or do otherwise?”
After about thirty minutes of this, we both, still exhausted from our previous late night, decided it was time to go home. Jonny needed to use the men’s room and I wanted to say goodbye to Bert and Phil.
“Well what do you think?” I said, although I clearly focused on Phil.
“He’s wonderful,” Bert said.
“Yes he is,” Phil said with a smile. “He’s wonderful.”
Next Up: Color And Light
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